country chicks

On Friday, last week, the girls and I, plus my mom, drove about three hours to a junk market called Country Chicks in Chehalis, WA. It was so fun! There were 100+ vendors there with tons of stuff and I ended up scoring a few finds I've had my eyes out for lately. 

This cute little planter that I stuffed with oregano, thyme and mint. 

And this fun vegetable crate that I put in the center of my island full of pumpkins and gourds. I feel like it will be a fun piece as the seasons change to add things to. 

The girls were literally so good the entire day. Lacey wandered the whole time and finally found something she wanted, a star fish. And Holly didn't make a peep the whole time! Although, I think next time I might leave the kids home and bring a lot more money ;)

Over the weekend, we spent a lot of our time outside, we're trying to soak up as much sunshine as we can, I know that it will soon be gone! Kameron brought an excavator home and fixed some drainage problems we had last winter in front of the barn, all of the water was flowing directly into the barn and flooding the stalls, which meant the horses were standing in water pretty much 24/7, not good. There's a 100% chance of rain tomorrow, so I guess we'll figure out if his plan worked or not! We also fell a big maple tree that was right next to the barn, it was much overdo, I was holding on to it being there because I love what they look like in the fall, but in a mini wind storm we had about a month ago, the top fell out of it, smashing our horse fence, which was repairable, but if it fell on the barn, we wouldn't be so fortunate. So it had to go. And it actually looks awesome without it! The horses have so much more room now for their feedings and this morning I saw them all laying down, taking a mid-morning nap, so they must approve :) 

Of course since there was an excavator here, that meant we also needed to rip up any other piece of grass that I had around here, (ugh) and Kameron directed the water away from the barn on the south side as well. 

There ended up being way more excess dirt than he expected, so I inadvertently got him to make my garden area. We have to do some sort of enclosed garden, the deer around here are relentless, so that's still a work in progress, so we'll get there by next spring! 

Lacey spent some time grooming the horses, it's so amazing to see her have a bond with these special animals, I'm not sure she quite understands how powerful Ronnie is yet though, when she gets brushed, she really likes to say thank you by rubbing on you or pushing on you, as an adult, she pushes me around and she got Lacey this weekend lol. Lacey was standing up on a stool combing her mane and Ronnie swung her head around to say thank you, which in turn, threw Lacey off the stool, whoopsies! 

It obviously didn't seem to deter her away from the horses however, she enjoyed a conversation with mocha in the grass later. 

I'm so thankful for this girl, Holly, and my life in general, especially my husband. He really has made my dreams possible and I know that I don't thank him enough. Tonight, I'm going to make him biscuits and gravy for dinner, his fave, and enjoy his company. Until then, I'm laying on the floor with my three year old who's measuring my four month old with a measuring tape, she says Holly's head measures 14 pounds. 

That must be a pretty spiffy tape measure if it weighs a persons head ;)

our short weekend

Lately, every weekend seems to get shorter and shorter. Kameron has been working tons on getting the race track fixed which has meant late nights during the week and no sight of him on the weekends. Thankfully, I think they're getting close to done. He had to take a small break on Saturday so we could get my dad moved into his new house. I had fun taking over everything in his possession and organizing it to my liking. Saturday evening we had a Wicked dinner at Fanaticus and were able to get away from the girls for a few hours. It's so crazy how all week I'm desperate for a break and feel like my head might explode if I don't get some sort of adult interaction, but then I'm away from them for three hours and I miss them so much. When we got back home from dinner, Lacey had fallen asleep on the couch, Daddy packed her to her bed and Holly was asleep in her swing. Seeing the two of them sleeping before I could even say goodnight was a little heart breaking. Suck it up, Taylor, it was only three hours. As crazy as they make me, there's no way I could ever escape from them for even a full day, I would miss them too much! 

On Sunday, we had a lazy day, thank goodness, and pretty much just hung out in the house and watched football. We did have a bit of a frenzy right before the game started, of course my damn ponies decided to get out of the hot fence somehow and ventured to the neighbors house. Our big horse, Ronnie, was freaking out, pacing the fence line and talking like crazy, she's only been with us a couple months and they're all already super herd bound. Great. Unfortunately, I don't think she'll be as easy to catch as the boys so I'm terrified of her getting out of the fence. There's just one more project to add to our list-redo the fence, yay! Thankfully, we got it mended-ish for now. 

Holly had her first experience with baby food today! We tried carrots and she totally loved them! I was super impressed with her, Lacey has always been a terrible eater so I'll be lucky if this one isn't picky. She didn't eat much for her first little snack, but she did great with the spoon! I think for the next couple months we'll start some purée's, and once she's six months, we might try some BLW. I'm super excited! We let her chew on some cantaloupe Friday night and she loved it, so hopefully we'll have success there too. 

After her snack, we also tried a jumperoo I got her at a garage sale for a steal! Her little legs reached the floor, but when we pulled her out, her feet were cold so I think it may have been cutting circulation off, lol. She seemed to really enjoy having the toys right in reach! We'll definitely be trying out that thing more often. 

It was a weekend full of firsts for her! 

Last week our chickens started laying so Lacey has been having so much fun checking for eggs every day. There were two in the coop today! 

We have way too much fun on our mini farm! It was a fun, relaxed weekend for us. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for our schedule this week, so I'm going to enjoy the Toy Story marathon with Lacey for now and watch my sweet jojo snooze away...

I choose happy

In the past few months, I've noticed myself crabby, grumpy, all over the place and haven't been able to quite figure out why. In the few months before I had holly, I remember constantly feeling anxious, like there was always something that needed to be done and I found myself short with Lacey and frustrated with her for just being a three year old. It seems like ever since I had holly, it's gotten worse. I constantly feel like I can't be sitting on the couch, watching The Price is Right while she takes her morning nap, because there is SO much I should be doing. Dishes, laundry, a shower for myself, sweeping, vacuuming, etc. Which granted, those are things that need to be done but by the end of the day, I'm thoroughly exhausted and feel like I spent my day frazzled because I was always worried about what needed to happen next. I'm trying really hard to understand that those things really don't need to be done 24/7. It's ok to have the house a mess for a day if it means I get quality time with my girls. I'm trying so hard to get that pounded in my head. Why do us moms feel the need to pressure ourselves this much? Plus, I either look homeless for the day, which is always when unexpected guests happen to stop by, or I waste an hour of my time getting ready for nothing. I'm pretty sure my three year old and three month old don't care if my hair is done, or my eye makeup is flawless, but for some reason, I feel like I have to put myself together. And it gets old! Ugh- being a woman, lol. In these months, I've found myself loosing my cool with Lacey over the stupidest things, and then the sad look she has on her face after I yelled at her, it's so heartbreaking and haunts me when I lay down for bed at night. I'm learning to get back to a better place, a place where I was when she was 4 months old like holly, where I didn't care if we laid on the floor for two hours and played with toys, the dishes and laundry will be there indefinitely, my girls childhood will not be there indefinitely. Waaaahhh! I'm learning to let it go, and embrace this crazy, chaotic, life. My kids will never remember that the shelves weren't dusted, or that the laundry is still in a basket, not folded for three days. They'll remember the times we giggled until we almost peed our pants, and the movie nights we share with daddy and the mess we made when baking in the kitchen. And that is truly, all that matters. 

 

BLW

It's 5:30 pm on a Friday night and I feel like I'm ready for bed already. Oh to be young again. Oh wait, I am young, I just have two children under the age of four and I'm constantly tired, that's right. It's extra quiet in my house right now, laceys watching videos on YouTube and hollys sleeping next to me in her rocker. 

I've recently noticed that it seems like she is always hungry, even after feedings, she still seems like she could eat more. So of course, that has me searching on Pinterest what I can feed an almost four month old. It's so crazy that Lacey is only three and a half and I already can't remember what/when we started feeding her solids. I found a "new" technique called Baby Led Weaning and you pretty much feed your child whatever you're eating. This seems so weird to me, aren't there only certain foods that infants can have? Obviously, with the exception of nuts and honey, it does seem like she could probably eat just about everything we eat. Weird. I've found tons of fun ideas for snacks and meals for her and I can hardly wait to start. BLW suggests against giving any purees but I do think I'll start with a few while she's this young and around six months start with "real" food. As I was searching on Pinterest, there was a part of me that was so excited for her to just grow up a little bit so she could experience food and we could move on to that stage, but then it hit me. I don't want her to grow up! I want her to be dependent on me and stay this sweet, innocent baby and the sooner she starts food, the sooner she'll be a crazy, grumpy, attitude-having three year old like her sister. I know I can't stop time, so for now, I'll keep planning her menu and snuggle her just a little more this evening :) 

pure insanity

This morning, after finally mustering up the energy to get out of bed and start the day, I found a box of Apples to Apples cards dumped on the living room floor. Obviously Lacey was up way before I was...After almost 15 minutes of her "picking up the cards" we settled with a time out and I picked up the damn cards. Her time out was more of a time out for me, I spent some time with holly on my bed, Lacey found her way in and apologized for the card instance. She wanted to watch some videos on the tablet, but then proceeded to have another meltdown because it was dead. That obviously means the world is ending, if you didn't know. 

Finally, I sat down on the couch with my morning coffee, turned on the news and started reading a blog about how having three kids is chaos. I was feeling pretty good, thinking, "oh it couldn't be that bad, we should try for a boy" and in that moment of thinking, my hot coffee spilled all over my new couches, the cat and over course, my clean clothes that I barely managed to have time to get on. So now- I'm in yogas and a hoodie and lost all motivation to wear normal clothes today. I will say though, even in the crazy, chaotic times, there is always good. Lacey and I just finished reading, Love You Forever, which is my favorite childhood book. She started preschool on September 10th and is loving it. 

Of course I managed to mess up her first day though, I was positive pickup time was 11:30, so I sat anxiously waiting to pick her up and couldn't wait to hear about her first day. Around 11:15, just as I was on my way to pick her up and of course be early, I got a call from her teacher reminding me that pickup time was 11:00. Oh. My. Gosh. I felt so bad. All I could think about ,as I did 70 the whole way there, was that she was sitting there wondering why mommy didn't pick her up. Thankfully, she didn't even seem to realize and the teacher had her help with clean up so I think I'll keep this story to myself until she's an adult! I don't think I'll ever forget that feeling of trying to get there as soon as I possibly could!

Holly is doing awesome. I can't believe how fast she's growing. I know, everyone says that. But seriously, why can't they stay a baby forever? She is such a smiley baby and even on the hardest days, she's right there next to me with a big smile on her face. 

I can't get enough of her! She's almost four months which has got me thinking that very soon, she will be crawling all over and getting into every small, choking  hazard possible in her sisters playroom. So for now, I'm endlessly scrolling on Pinterest, looking for the perfect playroom for mixed ages and enjoying the fact that she's not yet mobile :) 

one week as four

Today, Holly is already a week old! I've been thoroughly enjoying all the baby snuggles I can get. Having two children at home now has really been awesome. Lacey loves her little sister and has been so good with her, I'm super proud of her. 

One of my biggest worries when I was pregnant was how I was going to be able to love another daughter as much as I love Lacey. I remember telling my husband once we found out we were having a second girl, that I was so scared because I didn't think I could love another girl. I worried about this the rest of my pregnancy but mostly kept my insecurities to myself. Anyone I talked to about it, promised me that you love each child differently and I just couldn't wrap my head around what that meant. But i totally get it. Lacey will always be my first daughter, the first one who made my heart explode with emotion and overwhelming love and the first one to start this journey of motherhood with me. No matter what, she will always hold such a special place in my heart. And it's true, my love for Holly is different, I am cherishing her cries a little more than I did with Lacey, I don't mind waking up at night for feedings, and I'd rather hold her while she naps instead of letting her sleep in her cradle while I make myself and house presentable. I attribute this difference between the two to the fact that I saw just how quickly Lacey grew out of all these stages. Everyone always says, "it goes so fast" and it seriously does. I look at Lacey now and am so heartbroken that she's such a kid. I know that both my babies will grow up and become their own person, I just wish time would slow down a tiny bit. For now, I'm so much enjoying being a family of four and am so lucky to spend this life with Kameron and continue to grow our family in many different ways. 

waitin' for baby

Today, I wrote little lady a letter in her baby book and it really got my thinking about how much I don't want to forget in this amazing time. Yes- pregnancy sucks, yes, I'm miserable and yes, I can't wait for it to be over, but that doesn't mean I want to forget this special time I've got to spend, not only with her growing butt inside me, but with this winding down clock of just me and Lacey every day. 

I must say, this last three and a half years with Lacey have truly been amazing. I can't believe I've been so blessed to be able to spend all of my days with her. And of course, there are plenty of days where I probably wish she would take her toddler attitude out on someone else, but the fact of the matter is, I have six months until she isn't a toddler anymore and I know I'll be dying to have these tantrums and fits back. She really has turned into such a kind, smart little girl and I'm so happy to be her momma. I feel like with Lacey, we've gotten over so many hurdles so far, big girl beds, sleeping alone, sleeping all night, potty training, the list goes on and on and now, I'm starting over. Am I crazy? Some days I honestly feel like I'm crazy. But then I think of all the things that have come and gone and I get so excited to relive that again, especially with her by my side. I can't wait to see Lacey relive those moments of crawling, walking, first teeth, first words and she is at the perfect age to understand those things and teach her little sister. I can't believe how excited Lacey is that her sister won't have teeth. Lol. There are so many experiences and things, as a mother I get to see again and I'm so happy that Lacey will get to be there for each of those. 

I want to remember exactly where we were in life at this point in my pregnancy. The point of "please bring me in for a c-section because I'm so tired of being pregnant and don't have the energy to even think about another vaginal delivery" I want to remember that we don't even have grass outside of our house right now, we've only lived here for three months, I still have a terrible habit of starting projects and not finishing them and that I've become excessively OCD since this time in my life while pregnant with lace. So much changes in a matter of a year and if I think back to this time last year, we didn't even have a barn on our property or the thought of living in this home that we do. And I know that at this time next year, I'll be so busy planning a one year old's birthday party, that a lot of this stuff will slip my mind. 

I want to cherish these last couple of weeks, maybe even one week, that I have with Lacey, and always remind her that she will always be my sugar bean. And as much as I want this baby to come out, I also want to slow down in the shower, enjoy my sleep at night, make my husband his favorite meals, spend time with him before I'm a hot mess at the end of every day, and enjoy my life as a family of three. We are days away from becoming a family of four and I'm so excited to start this new journey with my amazing family.