One of my biggest worries when I was pregnant was how I was going to be able to love another daughter as much as I love Lacey. I remember telling my husband once we found out we were having a second girl, that I was so scared because I didn't think I could love another girl. I worried about this the rest of my pregnancy but mostly kept my insecurities to myself. Anyone I talked to about it, promised me that you love each child differently and I just couldn't wrap my head around what that meant. But i totally get it. Lacey will always be my first daughter, the first one who made my heart explode with emotion and overwhelming love and the first one to start this journey of motherhood with me. No matter what, she will always hold such a special place in my heart. And it's true, my love for Holly is different, I am cherishing her cries a little more than I did with Lacey, I don't mind waking up at night for feedings, and I'd rather hold her while she naps instead of letting her sleep in her cradle while I make myself and house presentable. I attribute this difference between the two to the fact that I saw just how quickly Lacey grew out of all these stages. Everyone always says, "it goes so fast" and it seriously does. I look at Lacey now and am so heartbroken that she's such a kid. I know that both my babies will grow up and become their own person, I just wish time would slow down a tiny bit. For now, I'm so much enjoying being a family of four and am so lucky to spend this life with Kameron and continue to grow our family in many different ways.
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