1 week as 5

I can't believe I'm sitting here today, thinking about Levi being a week old tomorrow. I know, a week isn't that long, but let me tell you how sad I am that this first week is already gone. I've been struggling with adjusting to the new reality that I will never again have a baby this small. I will never again smell that baby/hospital smell, or hear that first whimper and cry. I find myself staring at this little boy, and my throat starts to well up because I don't want anymore time to slip by. Holly is almost exactly one year older than him and the difference between the two is unbelievable. How can so much change in just one year? One year from now, I will be so far from this newborn, sleepy stage and it breaks my heart to think about it. Obviously- three kids is plenty and my life is going to be insane with Holly and Levi so close in age, but, to know I don't even have the option in the future to have another is a lot to wrap my head around. I've told Kameron multiple times already that it's a good thing I went through with my tubal while at the hospital, because I honestly don't know if I would've gone back and done it. Like I said, three is totally awesome and I really don't even think I would want more, it's just the fact that i can't. 

This last week actually hasn't been too bad. We came home from the hospital Wednesday afternoon, Kameron went back to work on Thursday and I will say, that was probably the hardest day. The kids were great but the pain I was in from my tubal was so unexpected. Thankfully, each day just seems to get better and better. Over the weekend, we just relaxed and took it easy, it was SO hot in our house on Sunday and we finally got it to cool down around 3 am. Today is Monday and I feel like this is my first day in the real world with all three of them. Somehow, I've managed to shower, clean the entire house, even wash my sheets and mop the floors. And a bonus-everyone is alive and fed! It will definitely be a huge change going from two to three. Holly is still not walking, so I find myself not knowing how to carry both her and Levi. I desperately need to visit the grocery store, but don't have enough balls yet, so I think I'll save that trip for when dad's home and can watch the kids. 

I can't even believe that we finally have our son. I keep thinking that we have wanted this little boy for so long and he's finally here. All 6 lbs of him, with his skinny little legs and short boy-ish hair. I could literally stare at him all day. He loves his head rubbed and would lay on my chest all day if he could. I crawl into bed at night with him and snuggle him close, with the smell of newborn spit up all over my shirt and I don't mind at all. He wakes me up every few hours for a quick diaper change and feeding and then snuggles back in for another few hours. I literally feel so overwhelmed with love for my entire family, I could just cry. Hopefully, our second week will go just a tad bit slower, I don't want to miss a thing. ❤️